On my walk a fortnight ago, I witnessed TWO cases of abuse that I’d stopped to intervene quite significantly: One was a schoolboy of about four, who was hitting his mom because he didn’t like the ice cream flavor mom had afforded him.
”Why are you hitting your mom?” I asked!
At first, he felt entitled — and showed no remorse.
“Would you like to apologize to her?”
Still no remorse!
Then I got on one of my knees (on a public street, to just about his eye-level contact, to probe further: “Listen, young sir, I am an authorized abuse reporter; would you like me to call the Police?”
Then, the moment I patiently awaited arrived. His little demeanor changed. He broke down in tears, sobbing!
“Would you like to say sorry to mom now?”
And yet, no apology. Only heavier sobbing and tears! At this time, I understood the mechanics of their relationship: He’s a little burger who gets away with beating his mom, thinking it’s okay. So, I escalated: Got me my paper and pen and demanded his name and school! And that the Police and I will be visiting him in school to request a statement of apology from him. ONLY then did his ‘confido’ spirit break!
The second incident involved two grown-up ladies whom I judged as I walked from quite a distance from behind them, as friends. One had two small grocery bags and the other none. Suddenly, she’d placed both on the ground — and had demanded that the other lady should come to get them as she walked away! The other lady had stood her ground. She kept walking too. So, the two bags were behind them both as I doubled up my pace to see where and how best I could offer help!
“No, it’s alright, she’s my teenage daughter, and Mommy is treating her rightly”, she said as she thanked me!
“Oh, I see, I thought you both were friends!”
“Ah, people say that all the time: I had her at fourteen, but I’m still mum — and rightly so!”
I wouldn't let the beauty of the countryside becloud my God-given sense of judgment:
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."
— Ephesians 6:1-3
Do you recognize the embedded, grave consequences of parental abuse?
a.) Disobedience to your parent(s) - as long as you live under their roof - is evil.
b.) Any act to undermine their authority is demonically controlled and influenced.
c.) If you so desire to be free from the instructive input of your parent(s) in your daily living, then, by all means, man up - or lady up; amicably move out from under their roof WITH THEIR BLESSING! (Don't dare leave in acrimony and bitterness. That won't work in the long run. Don't elope with a lover; that may not end well either. Be very careful to remember that God has placed boundaries surrounding us for our good and betterment. Not contrariwise or otherwise!
d.) Obedience does not mean you cannot clarify instructions, even though it would have been better not to answer/question back. Jesus Christ did not answer back mom Mary or Guardian-dad Joseph (See Luke 2: 41-52).
e.) Obedience is the rightful 'heart-ti-tude' of a child to their parent(s)!
AND HONOR?
Whether you're a little child or an adult child that has outgrown the nest and has started to live away from home able to adequately support yourself and thrive, God still commands you to honor your parent(s).
To honor someone is to treat them with respect; great esteem. Distinction, Privilege. Tribute. Credit. Importance. Illustriousness. Notability. Esteem, and approbation, to say a few. To dishonor someone, however, is to treat them in reverse. You treat them with utter contempt and disgrace!
The Scripture assures that honoring your parent(s) is the only commandment with promise! The promise? Good, long, prosperous years on earth!
THE PRECARIOUS BALANCE
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your child to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." — Ephesians 6:4
Parents MUST be careful to not provoke their children to wrath. That includes - but is not relegated - abuse of any kind. Belittling a young person is also narcissistic parental abuse. Not believing in your child/ward's visions and thus not supporting them in this way is gross. Many patriarchs and matriarchs "observed" or "kept" their child's sayings/words in their hearts. (See Genesis 37:11 & Luke 2:19).
Now, what if the child suffered abuse while they were a child — or growing up?
While abuse is never right, and must NEVER be tolerated, every child must be protected from their abuser at all costs! It may be dear to expose the abuser; covering up the abuse/abuser will be much dearer in the long run. You will regret not protecting your child from sexual, psychological, mental, emotional, physical, and financial abuse!
And while you may have been battered, yet, God requests you to honor your parents, regardless of what they may have done to wrong you! It is just for your future good. Heed God's advice today, and secure your future!
That four-year-old little boy and his mother were a classic example of a narcissistic child vs. an empathic, enabling mom! That other fifteen-year-old spoiled brat and her disciplinarian, enforcer, and thirty-year-old mother were together a pretty example of what right, balanced parenting is all about. I hope you would agree with me. let me hear your opinions at 'admin@harvestways.org'
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Written by Dr Sammy JOSEPH. The blog is reminiscent of the teachings from his book You're Not a Mismatch, available at PULSE Publishing House Store: https://www.harvestways.org/product-page/not-a-mismatch Subscribe freely to our https://www.Youtube.com/c/Harvestways and please, feel free to share. God bless you!